AWARENESS

Where will your soul lead when you give yourself no options?

No room to breathe, to walk, to eat, or to sleep, better yet to live.

You die unknowingly inside and you reside there even in light.

Awake yourself from your formed tragedy, AWAKE I SAY! To push forth is not a sin, and yes, accept.

Accept the form that was given to which you gave yourself no options.

She said go, you said, "yes ma’am". He says, "lay there", and as you lay you cultivate into whichever structure his inception has formulated for you.

You give all of yourself without fully even knowing and look up to see that all of you is gone.

You gave yourself no options to find the pieces, to fix the shattered glass. Yet you carry the scars and cuts from what was meant to rectify; maybe altered in some other lifetime but now, right now my dear, you gave yourself no options.

Which probes a question of what have you gained?

More like what have you lost, because you currently reside inside where you’re hidden. Understand you can be found. Uncover your ears, accept the pain. ACCEPT THE FEARS, THE GUILT, AND THE UNBIRTHED LOVE THAT WAS ONCE PURE. Accept the devotion of options you left unbearable. Countless lovers you left smeared against you; uncover yourself. Apart of you feels uncovered from the start. A withering willow clouded, beaten by the rain drops, yet “they say” it’s healthy in the natural process in order for its growth.

So the touch of a close relative is as healthy as this withering flower I am. More like a concrete rose; watch me grow. Watch me formulate into this blissful animal I want to break myself free from. I search for the root, I try plucking it, but it steadily grows back. I want to butcher this lifeline I somehow was built upon.

How do I stop this cycle?

My Tears are not enough, the pain is not enough. I hear whispers of devotion, taunting me.

Change ME, Give me life…

I no longer want to feed the substance that seems to be routed. I seek to develop the change. The concrete rose, which was meant to bring life. I ask myself to be allowed to fulfill the light for I am thee.

Allowing this to be revealed, accept that you chose no option except the option of ACCEPTANCE. I AM THE TRANSFORMATION OF THE HEAVILY ROOTED ANGEL THAT YOURNED TO DIE INSIDE. THE WHISPERS PURGED FOR THE LIGHT, WHICH CONTINOUSLY BEAMS OF OPTIONS….

PURE BLISS

Adoring the creativity that has swept me from my feet, forcing my
spirit to speak, howl for that matter because the feeling Ive
experienced is truly that deep. This isn't your regular love poem. Im
captivating your soul. Leading your every desire to mines, at this
point your heart begins to feel whole. You lead me like the clouds in
the sky, for you are my moon. Lighting the midnight's path. Is this
what you really want me to do? Our spirit intertwined can shift the
galaxy, two stars, we can start our own Revolution of bliss. (Damn it
neva felt as good as this). No complications of unguarded affairs,
mere simplicity that our destinies have decided to share. Appreciation
beyond its wealth, our pattern exudes argyles. One that others may
wear well. Were only exemplifying the beauty that many can share. So
take one last sip of this crazy potion, with frivilous movements RARE
ENTITIES will soon be in motion.
-Lola B.

BALANCE

My faith and desires are beginning to mix with reality. The
detrimental thought can only bring fatality.
I dream of blissful things that are very much art, yet vomiting the
desires that are very much fought.
Its not my spirit I bear with alone. Rare entities speak out, dare
try to swallow me whole. Walking amongst those who barely know their
souls.
See me I stay covered, and exude love and strength but once again
reality is giving me an extra sense.
One I struggle to bare, to comfort my soul. Although love is a battle,
its one I've chosen to ignore.
I've seen spirits clash and heads roll, yet cut throat experiences to
maintain what they hold. Your letting your desires get the best of
you, If its meant to set you free, turn reality into art form, and
force RARE ENTITIES to speak. -Lola B.

I JUST WANT TO BE "SUCCESSFUL"

Wednesday morning I started my day with a quite overwhelming, and humble experience. A week before hand I created a poem entitled "THE LOVE OF ME". I've been fortunate enough to come across a positive individual who works with a Magazine company named "Vertikal Magazine".  I started a regime of writting atleast four times a week, and ran across a man by the name of Norman Anderson -wonderful soul- who blessed me with the opportunity to have my first poem published within a company. The moment I saw the link posted on my Facebook profile I took a breath, and clicked it. The first thing I saw was, "UNSPOKEN WORDS, WELCOME TO VERTIKAL YA DIG". I like to re-read over my work countless times to see where my attention may have geared towards, or who and what inspired it. Each time I discover a different feeling. I enjoy the beauty of my work, and honestly believe that this opportunity allows me to see that what we do as individuals for ourselves INSPIRES us more than anything possible.  While arriving to another experience that the heavens blessed me with, this moment enstilled within me that, "I CANT STOP & WONT STOP", as Diddy would say lol. God given talents should always be exuded and PERSISTANCY is always the key. Unspoken words will always flow from these fingertips, and I thank you all for being with me on this journey. THIS ISN'T THE ENDING OF THE BEGINNING...(A NEW START, for my beginnings will never end). YOU ARE LOVED AND APPRECIATED. -BLESS

(LINK TO WHERE THE POEM WAS PUBLISHED): http://www.vertikalmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=36&Itemid=106

The title and picture above explains alot to those who know me personally. It's generally dedicated towards a man who has inspired me, and I will fathom for the pure fact that in a situation where I misunderstood my state of contemplacity, he changed my life with one statement: DONT SACRIFICE YOUR DREAMS FOR SECURITY.
A small yet powerful statement that Ive lived to treasure. MOMENTS that flow like the blood through my veins and the ink on my body. Memories that I will always thank him for, from the bottom of my heart. "Remembering they see your flesh, while I see your heart". 
- Lola B.

EVOLUTION/THE LOVE OF ME

Individuality, Creative Expression, Doubt, Fear, Spiritualism, stripped bare inside from there mediocrity. Testing the waters of contemplacity, held inside this box, as I peak over to see what's outside.  

My inner spirit and the heavens are gazing as this specimen is evolving. "Be who you're meant to be, you're greater than you think you are" the voices speak to me. 

Inspiration and Daily motivation flows within my veins.
Remembrance of humbleness and liberating events that are eager to push and sustain me.
 

Walking down paths where I see light "Beaming around me" but spirits come out and turn LIFE into darkness.
 

I see your true colors. They peak bright as the morning sun, and furtive as a fox.
Speak your feelings, express your beaten and tattered emotions of your past but dont allow me to swallow them whole, for this part I won't partake in.
 

Be free and clear like air, flow but remain sweet for the cleanliness I need.
Humble, evolving, understanding, yet strong spirits I hold on to.
Coming across so many that also know my potential
 

(HATE/DECEIT/FILTH)
 

You want me to remain stagnant, swaying away from my destiny.
I'm quiet, you know, that silent child. Outspoken but silent, challenged, resilient, spiritual, dedicated, exudes love like no other.
 

WEAKNESS is what **GROUP-THINK** individuals sponsor it as. Self conscious to become fully aware of that woman I am and that child I no longer want to remain.
Fear will no longer remain constant, but allowing my freedom to reign.
I transform your doubts, our judgments, and love it.
Mold it into that sweet love they call LOLA B. (The Love of Me)
POWER, RESPECT AND LOVE!!!

Change is DEEP!!

Hurting deep inside, words and desires mixed up.

Trying to focus on WHAT'S REAL,
PRAYING so that I can GRASP IT.
Middle of the night having thoughts,
wishing your name would become a FADING MEMORY.
I'M HURT but you can't SEE IT.
So CAUGHT UP with your PAST,
I'm SPEAKING to you but you don't BELIEVE IT.
I can't manage your demons and mines..
I have to live for me.
Slipped up and ignored my desires, now I'm the one wiping my tears.
I cried for the PAIN, and then I cried for a CHANGE.
Knowing what I endured would build me.
Telling myself I'd never feel like this again.
I let you in....(Comforting my soul.)
(CHANGE)
Faithful mental affairs that play out in my mind.
Shifting emotions of our memories and my growth.
I reverse the pain into my work; Pouring out what can't be said.
With goals of writing things that aren't able to reach them verbally but internally.
Change wont allow my spirit to hurt, SO I CHANGE FOR ME. MY BETTER HALF!!

SAY WHAT'S REAL

 

Living in a world where nothing belongs to you

Trying to build and understand the trust of and for others.

Is it possible, are they worth it?

Is this product you invest in worth the blessings of your joyous encounters?

Will they appreciate what's real?

(THE SWEETEST THING)

Or throw shade, and Salt on your name having you shriveled up like a prune?

Draining you of what you exude

With the worries of your giving spirit

You continue to #PlayYourRole letting the universe take its course.

Faith is what you stand by, 

awaiting the understanding and approval to allow yourself to be used.

Whether its for the moment, or a lifetime of bliss and tribulations.

Is it worth it?

Could it be real?

Grasping your experiences living in the moment. (Damn this feels good), my fears kick in.

Im understanding the situation, yet Im familiar with my past.

So many ideas of where my road leads to.

With delicate words to fabricate what it really could be.

Sifting through the bull, pushing through the clouds, finding my way to a better me.

Still praying for thee, 

Head full of voices but the only one I hear is telling me to,

"SAY WHAT'S REAL" to save me!

#####THAT THING#####

Days turned into weeks, almost a month went by, and each experience had me on my toes. Living and Laughing caught up in the moment. (#ThatThing)

Having visions of Dear John letters, saying this cant be true. You've left an imprint on my heart that I cant smooth out. (#ThatThing)

You're pounding harder and harder, saying you want your mark to last, Im holding on just enjoying the ride. (#ThatThing)

Your fears, I take into my hand, I guide it to reach spiritual endeavors that lie in my heart to INSPIRE YOU! I DON'T MEAN TO BLIND YOU. (#ThatThing)

If she throws a fit because of your departure, recognize shes going to miss u, just comfort her. SIMPLE cant say LOVE :) (#ThatThing)
(#ThatThing) will have you all caught up on sentimental mediocre encounters: Such as you all's favorite candy. CANDY ISN'T DA SAME lol

Scrimmaging ***sigh** Now Frivolous...Writing crazed poems such as these. My spirit is yelling, " He---MADE---MY---LOVE----COME---DOWN---AND...", and I KNEW, IT WAS, #ThatThing

Remember BELLETE'S #ThatThing doesn't necessarily mean your in LOVE, it Just means that Someone stepped into your life and left an imprint. A undeniable mark that is called a MEMORY. THOSE THAT WILL ALWAYS BE CHERISHED!! WALK WITH #ThatThing & LIVE TO ENJOY YOUR EXPERIENCES... PLAY YOUR ROLE, AND PLAY IT WELL!!

EXQUISITE EXPERIENCES

::FAITH::
Exude nothing but it. Consider it an outlet for you to run too; more than in the time of need, but on a daily basis to uplift the value of your life.

Faith is what carries me beyond the clouds of paradise that I live and walk upon. My destiny is above me. I'm moments away from reaching it. Memories of everyday affairs; to inspire, to acknowledge, to grasp, furthermore understanding his making and our doings. Appreciation is what I fill my heart with to remain humble, instilling tunnel vision on to a path that doesn't belong to me. A path that was driven & given from the heavens to leave footprints, & secret messages for others to receive as they come along my journey. The journey of a young woman only eager to succeed. Exploring such a lifestyle where ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE....One thing that leads to all is FAITH...IS IT POSSIBLE, & DO YOU HAVE IT??

::LOVE::
Love is more than a physical emotion, its an expression of excitement & an extreme gift of appreciation.

Passion is what holds this very emotion; that others have transformed to be defile and infuse enervation. Those who hold it treasure such a world filled with those who begin to stumble among greatness. Emotions are expressions...Your mindset controls the progress of the wealth you've DEVELOPED & COULD RETAIN. Society refrains from a substance that encourages you to UPLIFT moralities. LOVE DOES JUST THAT..CHANGE UR MINDSET & LOVE WILL MEAN MUCH MORE THAN A 4 LETTER WORD.

::PEACE::
The joy and very innovative experiences brought upon by fearless souls on the horizon of prosperity.

Peace is more than a state of mind. It is progression within the bloodlines of eager souls blinded by the wealth of intangible affairs. UNITY, PEACE, & SOUL!!!! Experiences that can only be traced with memories that IMPACT NATIONS, EMPOWER HEARTS, AND FULFILL UNSPOKEN DESIRES!! THOSE WHO CONFORM TO DO SO PLAY THEIR ROLE.. PEACE IS ALWAYS IN THE ARMS OF THE BEHOLDER..HOLD ON TIGHT & NEVER LET GO!!!

Love Affair

The excitement from his eyes the passion from his touch,
the fire and desire his aura gives from the mere appeal of my curves..
I think its love but more of lust that allures him..
Can a woman's body be that captivating?
With a backbone as strong as mines..
I hear him gasp for air as if it was his last breath
as he says, "Its more than just that"..
pondering on that last phrase wondering how many levels it can lead upon..
As he speaks I listen as if all i ever did was adore him...
He touches my lips...
slowly says, "The most beautiful words come from this very spot"
When you speak,
I listen
I treasure the knowledge and the love that u exude...
Your skin is soo radiant,
it shines so bright, sometimes i think im blinded by our love..
his words cause me to blush as if i recieved my first kiss..
Who knew words could be so passionate.
I look up wanting to speak...
he gives a continuance
Your hips...hmmm (smirk, and chuckle)
another blush.. stopping him by saying...
Ur natural presence is a gift beyond many reasoning's..
I love you for your dedication, your realness, and amazing outlook on this world full of calamity...
Your never mediocre
because YOU stand out beyond the rest
I'LL ALWAYS ADORE YOU
and fathom you for YOU..
I CAN, I WILL, I WANT TO
TO ALWAYS
ALWAYS
ALWAYS LOVE
U FOR YOU!!!

Spoken Word (Breathe)

Real art just had me in a daze how many times can I look away until you pull me back telling me you want me and you need me, how much darkness lives inside of me.

I need me. It takes survival to succeed and, and I need everything for me..

I want the baddest things got to fight hard to achieve hoping what crosses my path never deceives. The good lives within me. I tell myself I don’t want the GOOD I want the GREAT I need thee.

What will reside inside, the passion I let cry out yet I hide..Till death will this feeling last or will I bask in it, and express this joyous path. So many hidden talents and you chose to let others set that spark, that spark to your fire. In life you have so many desires.

Breathe young girl Breathe. Take time, but do all you can to succeed.

I toss and I turn not knowing which dream is real. Meditate they tell me stay on that spiritual path find yourself before you loose you. Loose me when I haven’t found me. I love me..I fight this, I yearn for thee.

My spirit I don’t want to mourn when all I want is for that feeling to come home. To be there not be sheltered but to be free. Daddy I love u , u live within me. I would never let another do what you do. I love me, I live with inside of you. I don’t blame you, I don’t hate you, but since I love me, BREATHE…IS JUST WHAT I GOTTA DO FOR ME. –LOLA B.

DREAMS

Dreams [dreems}

To dream is to have a succession of thoughts, emotions, and images passing through your mind while sleeping. It also can be accounted as aspirations for one's passion or realistic goals for the present or future.

Lately I have been having a series of dreams, which I cannot comprehend the meaning of. With being a psychology major every little thing intrigues me. After researching many topics, Ive come to the conclusion that the only way to balance the thoughts and desires you carry are through meditation.

Meditation cleanses your soul, and allows for ideas to flow in and out like cool water. Your life and your spirit deserves a balance within everything that you do. Attain the knowledge necessary to prosper and know that those dreams may be signs to things along your road. Morals bring about our character and with no questions asked it is known for you to understand the things that are not good for you. As my mother says, "Always listen to your Ori ("head" in Yoruba)". For instance, a dream such as death could indicate that your leaving something behind or moving on with a new chapter in your life. Dreams tend to abruptly bring about fear when viewed towards something negative. I may have found answers for us all.

I found a website that helped me and that may one day also help you all. Feel free to visit http://www.dreamhawk.com/d-dic.htm for more DETAILS ON DREAMS.


Thank you all so much for gracing my page. A lot of people would call my random act of blogging BOREDOM, but I call it my personal creative outlet. Either way YOUR READING IT, SO ENJOY!! IF U LOVE IT, LIKE/DISLIKE IT, & OR U WANT TO HEAR MORE OF WHAT EVER, DROP A NOTE....KISSEZ!!